We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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