She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize