Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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