we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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