My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
