New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
