Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
