I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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