if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
