Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
