will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
