if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i will never coherently bang her
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
