Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I need to stop coming to work sober
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
