my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
its liver damage thursday
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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