I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
