I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
