Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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