Non-Jews are for practice
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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