these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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