do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I need moral support for this bender
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
