I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
