I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize