You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
