hell yes lets make some ravioli
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
