Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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