can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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