it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
