season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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