Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
