We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So many bounce houses so little time
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
