I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
