I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
