how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
