so let's talk penis.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
