I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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