Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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