she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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