he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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