I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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