I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
