i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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