Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
