PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
