if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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