He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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