GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
