Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
