i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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