areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
