I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
