i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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