Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
