I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
