Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I didn't notice because vodka
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
