Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
