i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
