I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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