I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize