Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize