I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
