I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
