:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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