his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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