Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
