Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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