New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
